Letter to Shabda, 28 February 2023

Last day of what has been a tough month by all accounts. It has been cold here; the sun, wind, rain and cold felt as though you were camping out in the elements. Stimulating and inspiring and also grueling and nerve wracking at times. The burner has been on full-blast and I have been running up and down the terraces, chainsaw in hand chopping up logs and branches left from the pruning of the almonds and olives. We are in the middle of an arctic blast originating from Central Europe. Beautiful full sun blue skies, ice-laden winds and the promise of Spring is in the air.

We have had a busier Winter season here in Suryavana (than last year), with the End of Year being marked by two retreats, one with the Valencia Buddhist Centre and following a retreat with Respiravida/Breathworks. And in lo January a few more weekend events and an enjoyable Order gathering. With the calendar filling and some interesting clients appearing and wanting to rent our lovely retreat centre I do feel more optimistic about 2023. One of our creditors encouraged us to do the sums and so I worked out a projection for the year and it doesn’t look too bad. However we all know projections are just that, projections and “things" never quite work out as planned. Already we have had to fill the gas tank with an unexpected 1500 euros of propane. Cold days means central heating in a 10 roomed house.

The work here in ongoing and essentially endless. There is no beginning, no end and no middle to the task, so my “work” or "practice" is one of trying to let go and “relax” into it and recognize that it does not all depend on me (even though that is what I do think a times) and trust that “things" will work out and that the project will gradually move forwards, slowly but surely.

I have not been in the best of mental states, irritability and anxiety going hand in hand. There is a sense of light coming in with the seasonal shift and the plan is to be on the Going for Refuge retreat for the Spanish mens Sangha, gods willing and my partner agreeing. It means a lot of work for her looking after the kids for 9 days. 

Part of the drama has been that Suryavana was unable to support me properly since September despite being busier than ever and having more money coming in. This situation has been partially resolved and so over the next months lets see how that develops. I do really appreciate being here, as does my partner and the kids even with its challenges, Like everything it is a temporary arrangement which will move on. I really want the project to succeed. Like a lot! Am I crazy?

We still dream of building a shrine room here which is the NEXT important project, to move Suryavana onto a higher level, a higher plane. The idea is a modern hi-tech Geodesic Dome, insulated and set up for both Summer and Winter. It will mean a dedicated practice space. It will offer something unique and attractive in this part of the world. 

Tomorrow the 1st March, the beginning of Fallas in Valencia and the beginning of the 7 minute 1000 kg gunpowder displays, the pyrotechnic “Mascletas”. I sort of miss them, the sulfurous clouds of air pollution clearly marking and anticipating Spring! Will have to make a trip down to the big city!

All the best Sudaka